Such Great Sadness

Well most of you who read this know about Daddy and the journey we endured this past month. I don't want to go into detail, but to apologize for not writing earlier. I spent 3 weeks at the hospital and then a week in Mount Vernon with family. This blog has been pushed to the wayside and my life has taken hold.

To say I miss my Daddy is an understatement. I know that he is "with me" at all times, but I miss the human form of him. I know that God is in control, but am sad still the same. I wish my sons would have had the pleasure of knowing him like I did. I so looked forward to the day when Wyatt played his first tee-ball game and his Pop Pop was on the sidelines cheering for him. That is just one of the dreams I assumed would happen. Now I will just have to know that he will be there, we just won't be able to see the joy on his face...maybe just hear it in the wind.

Please know that because of my Saviour Jesus I am alive and I will be fine. Just right now I am allowing myself to be sad so that this time will indeed pass and hopefully swiftly. I want a day when I don't cry and all I do is smile. I am praying it will happen soon. The last time I talked to Daddy was at Walker's 1st Birthday party. Here is the last picture taken of him. Doesn't he look happy? Oh how I miss you...

My Little Leprechan

My Walker is 1 year old today. Oh, how the time has flown by and caused me to take a moment of pause. This year has been full of challenges to say the least. Walker has reflux and is on medicine every day. It works, so I am ok with having to give it to him. Finding out that reflux was the problem took many months of sleepless nights and cranky days. I am so blessed to have such a great support in my family and a SUPER SMART pediatrician. I can't imagine being anywhere else and having to rely on someone I didn't really know or trust....Thanks Mary Lynn.

Walker is RUNNING all over the place now. He is standing up by himself and taking off any chance he gets. He is eating table food with his 6 teeth and yet didn't want anything to do with his birthday cake. (We will try again tonight and see if we can't get him to come out of his shell.) His party on Sunday was wonderful...small with only family and close friends. Thank the Lord too because I don't think my house could have held one more person (Don't worry Nan we would have kicked someone out to have you here!!)

I just want to take the time to thank my heavenly Father for the blessing that is Walker. With His guiding hand I am trying to be a good Mother and every day God blesses me more and more. And as always I can't seem to find a way to thank Him unless it is in a song. Sometimes a song on the radio is something I hold onto for a while, but today an old hymn came to mind...

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.


Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!


Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.


Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!


Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!


Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

We need SPRING!!

This weather is too much for me. The boys are going stir crazy, we are seeing record numbers in the Urgent Care. I am so tired..........

Walker is walking!! I am so excited for him. He is walking around behind a big exercise ball. That way if he feels like he is going to fall, he just catches himself on the ball and all is good. HE is so proud of himself. He just smiles and laughs. Last night I heard him stirring in his bed before we went to bed. So I went in and checked on him. He was on his back, smiling (asleep mind you) and moving his legs like he was walking in his sleep. I would say that he is so excited...he is even dreaming about it!!

Runny nose, cough, watery eyes, sore throat, just miserable day.

Walker...not me. Poor baby is just miserable. He is sleeping now...finally. He just coughs and cries himself to sleep. The thing that bothers me the most is that he doesn't deserve it. He is such a good baby (well a good baby with an attitude!) and for the most part just smiles through it. When I want to rip my heart out is when he crawls up to you and puts his head down and cries. You can tell he needs this to be over. So say a prayer for my baby if you get a chance.

He is still our President!!

To those of you who are glad Bush is out of office I can respect that. Our times lately have been bad and no prosperity in sight. I feel the crunch of the economic times, the cries of the soldiers in far away lands and the uncertainty of the new era and yet, still have hope because our Lord and Saviour is in control.
Please know this...Respect is a virute that is commendable. One should respect each other and our leaders. I know that times have been bad when Bush was in office, also some are concerned about how Obama will lead this country. For whatever your choice was on November 4th, for whatever your feelings were yesterday, and for whatever you may feel in the future; please be respectful. George W. Bush was the leader of this country. That deserves respect. We don't know all of the details that forshadowed his decisions. We don't know every aspect of his job and how hard it must have been. I mean the man is very "old" looking...that should say how he must not have slept much in 8 years. On the other hand, Barack Obama is our current president. HE deserves respect as well. He is the leader of our country...taking on all of the things that made Bush so "old looking." I know there are many of you who disagree with one or both of these men, which is your right. One thing I want you to hold dear is that even though we have the right to our opinion, it should be given with respect, not hostility. Changing words to suit your opinions and or blocking out a circumstance because you don't like one of these men is wrong. Jesus told us to respect our leaders. We should follow the path of our saviour and pray for them in love. My pastor is frequently telling us to "Love God, Love People." To me this means everyone and showing respect is just one way of loving, not agreeing.

Still a Fan

Ok so I must admit...I thought the Bucks were going to lose. I know...what kind of fan am I? One that is realistic. The only problem with my hypothesis is that I didn't think it would be so close and I would sit up until MIDNIGHT watching a game that I thought I would be wrong on the prediction. Then I sat there waiting and hoping for the best. I was SO MAD when Tressel went for the 2 point conversion with 2 minutes to go in the game. For those of you who don't know what I am talking about or what it means...no worries. Just realize this. WE LOST $200!! If he would have just sent the kicking team out on the field Jim would have won his office pool and we would have had $200 in the hand!! Noooooooo we had to do some crazy stuff and try for the extra TWO points instead of old faithful! So not only am I very disappointed about the outcome of the game (because they actually showed up this time!!), but I am wishing for the win in the office pool!

For those of you who don't know...My brother-in-law has an interview today. Please pray for him. It has been so long and they really need some stability in their life. This teetering is getting to be a bit too much. God is in control.

Scared of Santa!

My poor baby Walker is terrified of Santa. Not only does he scream whenever he is on his lap, but any time he is around something that is associated with Santa he puckers up and hides his head in my chest. He cried when a sales person who was helping me at Sears Hardware had a Santa hat on, and when Jim's uncle Kenny talked to him (He has a white beard). It truly is so bad I felt like sheltering him from it. So...thankfully now I don't have to dodge the Salvation Army workers anymore this season...not because I didn't want to give anymore money, but because my son was afraid of their hats. We would walk by and Walker would start crying and Wyatt would SCREAM at them "Merry Christmas!!"